Uplifting Feelings

For whatever reason, this past week has sucked. Things just didn't seem to be going right. They cut back on hours at work (which bummed me out, because I like being busy and of course, I could really use the money). I've been stressing out about getting things ready for us to move from Hawaii. Yes, it's still a while away, but those who know me, know I like to have a plan in action....Even if that means planning months and months ahead. I've been a little upset about how some people act toward me. I've been cranky over having to pick up the house constantly, it seems, with no help. I have been really tired of not feeling like I have much to do when it comes to hobbies. Things are so expensive out here it seems like the only thing to do is sit around and do nothing.

Today, my attitude changed a bit. I don't know if it just took the "week" ending to shake the feeling or what it was, but today I woke up with a whole new outlook. Yes, I was mildly irritated that I woke up and "had" to clean the kitchen (when I say "had" it means no one forced me to do it, but my brain convinced me it had to be done right at that exact moment). After picking up the kitchen, Alex had woken up and it was nice to just hug him. There's some days (as I'm sure most understand perfectly) that I just need some alone time. Where even Alex (who I love dearly) gets a little under my skin. Today, I felt like it had been a lifetime since I had hugged him last. If felt good to just relax, chill out, and be kind.

There's days I feel like it's a struggle to be kind. That sounds horrible, but it's the truth. My gut reaction to most everyone and everything is bitchy. I don't know if it's a "protection of oneself" type thing or if I'm just a b word, but it happens. I come across to most as a person with an attitude. Most of those people are right. I have an attitude. If I didn't, I would still allow people to walk all over me and berate me to the point of no longer knowing myself. I'll stay strong on the "attitude" front, my blog friends! Back to being kind....I'm usually not as kind as I could be. Today, I just oozed kindness. For whatever reason (I'm not complaining) I woke up and was nice...Even after a "psychotic kitchen clean up" type of morning.

Today seemed like a lot of things must have magically fallen into perspective over night. First and foremost, I should be kind more often. Not only do I feel better in the end, those around me do as well. Now, I'm not saying I need to be kind to EVERYONE...there's still some people on my Sh..Poop List. Secondly, there will always be people who love me and people who don't like me. Not everyone needs to be my friend. Not everyone needs to understand me or enjoy my company. Those people who don't like me, don't matter. It's those who do and have stuck by my side even on those "not so kind" days that matter. People will come and go in your life more than you will ever realize or remember later on down the road. It takes a special person to really stick in your mind and in your heart. I am just thankful that I have had the opportunity to have those kind of people around me, even if they are few and far between. Third, I love being "cute" with Alex. I am TOTALLY not the mushy type. I usually hate when people get all lovey dovey about their significant others, but I'm giving myself a small tiny break from my ever demanding "B-Word Attitude". You can tell how I feel about Alex just by the things I do for him. It's been pointed out to me on more than one occasion that I'm a different person around him. I cook for him, I get him things (Like a drink when he's too lazy to get out of bed), I do laundry, blah blah blah. For anyone else in my past, this would have been a no go. Wasn't going to happen. I was, and still am, fiercely independent. Back then, selfish Cait ruled most aspects of my life. I think everyone goes through that phase in life where things going on needed to revolve around them (or mostly around them). To end this mush fest, I like doing all these things now...And most of all, I like hugging him, especially when the week has been rough and I just need to feel a little more grounded. Last but not least on my morning's list of "perspectives", it's better waking up in the morning with a positive outlook. As tough as it might be, I need to do it more often. Maybe then I wouldn't beat myself up so much about the way I look, the way I act, the way other people act, etc. I would just......BE.

Aside from my own personal things coming into some semblance of order, I woke up extremely happy for all the great things going on around me (I've been happy for a while about all this stuff going on, but have been dealing with my own personal heart aches to fully take it all in).

Great thing Numero Uno: Ash and Craig are getting married! I love it...I can't wait for it!!! IT'S ABOUT DANG TIME! I love Wedding Planning. It will one day be my career (No ifs, ands, or buts about it) and this wedding will out do and out shine all other weddings. I will be co-Wedding planner extraordinaire and it will be amazing! On top of all that wedding greatness, her ring rocks!! Craig did awesome!

Great thing Numero Dos: My Mom and Colin are coming to see us for Christmas. Well, not exactly Christmas, but they will be here the week before. I can't wait to see them. I miss them oh so much!

Great thing Numero Tres: Mallory and Thayn are expecting a baby! It will be awesome and I'm happy for them both. Babies are great bundles of joy...I'm just glad at this exact moment all babies I come in contact with can be given back to Mommy and Daddy haha.

Great thing Numero Quatro: Jen and Mike will be welcoming Calee this month...yes people, this month. Like I said, bundle of joy!!! And again, I get to have my baby fix, then hand her back to Mama (and Daddy while he's home!).

Great thing Numero Cinco: Craft madness has begun. Supplies have been ordered, have begun to be shipped, and I'm going to have a little more time with the cut work hours (as much as I need and want to work, there's always something good that can come out of the not so good) to actually be able to do all this craft business. Can't wait. Now I just need to find me a small card table to have my own "space" Any volunteers?

That sums up my feelings for the past week. I'll be on again soon, and hopefully with some updates on projects and possibly some pictures.