A Letter To My Friend

It has taken me a while to post something entirely about Jordan on here. I still have a hard time grasping what has happened and knowing I won't see him when I'm home again. I decided to write him a letter and hopefully he's looking down on me as I tell him all the things I want to say.

Jord,
Hi friend. It's been a bit since we've talked. Do you remember all our good times? Remember when Jess and I took you to The Used concert? We had so much fun and you were so excited to see them live. I look back on that now and you seemed so young...Well, you were. We used to tease you a little for being a shorty. You were the cutest kid around though. You took the jokes with a smile on your face. I miss your smile. You had the best "crooked grin" in the world. With your dimple and all! I remember graduating and running into your every now and again. I remember when you got your Jetta. You were so excited. You wanted to go to Euro meets and race me in my Passat. We had so many long car chats. I miss those days. I miss getting texts from you just saying hi. I didn't get a chance to really say goodbye when you joined the Army, relocated, and deployed. It felt like it wasn't necessary because I was going to see you when we all were in Utah again. I wasn't too worried. I didn't get the chance to say congratulations on Ayden. I figured you would introduce me to him when you went on leave to see your family. I wish I could have taken those few extra minutes to tell you all these things, because now I can't. I know you are looking down, shaking your head with your infamous crooked grin and saying, "Don't worry Cait, I know you were thinking about me and my family". You're right. You were always on my mind. I made sure to keep up to date on your pictures and how you were doing. We share a love for Atmosphere and we had many talks back and forth on our favorite songs and how great he is live. I can't wait to see Slug again because I know you will be with me. You mean the world not only to me, but to everyone you has ever come in contact with. No matter how short a time you knew someone, they always loved you. I couldn't be there for your welcome home procession or your viewing. I can't be there for your funeral tomorrow. I know you understand. I have a very hard time accepting that you're not here. I keep feeling like I'll go home and be able to see you or I'll get a Facebook comment from you telling me your safe and updating me on your baby. I have no closure being out here. I know you would feel the same. I hope you're okay with me making a late visit to your "spot" in G-Ville. I just need to say a proper "see ya later". I don't feel like it's goodbye because I will see you again, I know I will. I've been having dreams about you since I found out what happened. I think it's my way of dealing with it. My way of being able to talk to you one more time. I know that things like this happen and they happen to those strong enough to get through it, but it doesn't make a difference. This isn't fair. You were taken from all of us too soon. You left us a hero, though, and for that, we will all forever be grateful. You are amazing, Jord. I love you so much friend. Until we meet again....

Cait

Jord with Slug from Atmosphere.